Weight Loss Products

Lose weight while you sleep
GPS technology helps to control waist size
Let the machine work your calories away
Fitness stones burn excess calories

Lose weight
while you sleep

GPS technology helps to control waist size

Let the machine work your calories away

Fitness stones burn excess calories

Underwear that sucks up fat
Ultra sonic waves break down fat cells

Underwear that
sucks up fat

Fatstraction Oven

Awaiting USDA and FBI approval

Ultra sonic waves break down fat cells

Hypersonic Oscillator

Currently in Stage I animal testing

Control your junk food intake
Nature’s solution to weight loss
Remarkable calorie absorption spray
Get that tummy you’ve always wanted

Control your junk

food intake

Nature’s solution to weight loss

Remarkable calorie absorption spray

Get that tummy you’ve always wanted

Abrasowear

Abrasowear pajamas include several interior panels onto which are attached patented Abrasopads made of a special fabric that is infused with aluminum oxide media.

Lose weight while you sleep! 

Hundreds of weight-loss products make this claim. However, only Abrasowear pajamas are backed by scientific evidence showing weight-loss of up to 23 pounds per night during sleep.*

Here’s how they work. Abrasowear pajamas include several interior panels onto which are attached patented Abrasopads made of a special fabric that is infused with aluminum oxide media. As the wearer moves during her normal sleep patterns, the pads gently abrade her skin. The chafing activity that occurs does not remove fat per se. Instead it removes the epidermis, which in turn activates the deeper hypodermal cells to regenerate the epidermal layer. And the hypodermis, being 50 percent body fat, burns a considerable amount of calories to replace the epidermis that is abraded away.

Abrasopads are easily attached at any of sixteen locations inside of the garment and are available in varying degrees of abrasion so that the wearer can select where and how much fat is to be removed. Our studies have shown for instance, that women prefer more abrasion in the gluteal area while men prefer almost no abrasion in the genital region.

Abrasowear pajamas, in uni-sex sizes from XXS to XXXXXL, are available starting at $87.99. Replacement Abrasopads cost $14.99 each. For purchasing information, contact us.

* Your results may vary.


Belliometer

Using state-of-the-art technology developed by NASA, Fat Chance Diets has developed the Belliometer to help you monitor the amount of food you eat.

Do you have trouble monitoring the amount of food you consume? You are not alone. Scientists at Purser-Raymond Medical University have discovered that 86 percent of the population eat until they "feel full." 

But now there is help. Using state-of-the-art technology developed by NASA, Fat Chance Diets has developed the Belliometer to help you monitor the amount of food you eat.

The Belliometer employs advanced global positioning satellite (GPS) technology to sense the exact location of receiving units worn on each hip. The distance between the units (sampled 32 times per second and measured within a hundredth of a millimeter) determines how much your waist size is changing. When a pre-programmed limit of expansion is reached, the wearer hears an alarm that warns him to curtail his eating. Then, when a contraction set point has been achieved, the wearer hears a quiet tone indicating that it is okay to resume eating. 

Here's all you need to do to get the full benefit of the Belliometer:

  • 1. Attach the Belliometer around your waist. It easily fits under most garments
  • 2. Walk for one minute while drinking 16 ounces of water. The Belliometer calibrates the normal expansions and contractions of your waist due to drinking, breathing, movement and clothing compression.
  • 3. Resume your normal activities.

Following these three simple steps, most users find that they are able to reduce their waist size by over 20 percent after only one week.*

The Belliometer comes with rechargeable lithium batteries and is available in a variety of styles and colors. (Shown above is the travel model.) The Belliometer comes in sizes XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL and XXXXXL. Prices start at $1,770. An optional industrial ratchet fastening system can also be attached to all Belliometers. For purchasing information, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

ButtMaster

The real beauty of the ButtMaster: once you are in position, all the work is done by the machine.

Originally developed at the Ernschfelder Institute in Berlin in 1907, the ButtMaster has been a fixture in serious bodybuilding gyms around the world for over a century. Manufactured in India since 1950 by Shangshria Corporation, six new models have been introduced as technological advances have been made to hydraulic systems and high tensile-strength steel. 

Now after more than a decade since the last introduction of a new machine, the company is replacing the model FPCV-11 with the lighter-weight, electronically controlled model FPCV-12. Several of these units have already been installed in various La Couvier Hotel locations.

As with every previous model going back to the original model 17, all you have to do is simply maneuver your body into position and let the ButtMaster do it's work. That's the real beauty of the ButtMaster: once you are in position, all the work is done by the machine. No longer is there a need for tedious lateral squat walks or risky gluteal augmentation. You will soon have a smaller, firmer, and more perfectly shaped posterior.*

The ButtMaster FPCV-12 retails for $4,500, plus shipping. (Discounts are available to Fat Chance Diets members.) Contact us for more information.

* Your results may vary.

Diet Stones

If you are looking for a natural, inorganic way to get back into shape, Diet Stones are for you.
If you are looking for a natural, inorganic way to get back into shape, Diet Stones are for you.

It has long been known that the more weight you carry and the farther that you carry it, the more calories you will burn. Now recent discoveries by scientists in Naples, Florida prove that early Americans actually used this principle to keep warm in the winter by converting calories into heat and to keep fit in the summer by converting calories into muscle.

Early natives apparently carried stones on their heads while they went about their daily activities. In fact, so well known were these natives that the popular nearby beach, Flathead Beach, took on the name of this nearby tribe.

Now, Florida Mineral Corporation has rediscovered the fitness value of this long-lost practice and brought it into the 21st century with the introduction of Diet Stones.

By simply placing a fitness-appropriate stone on your head while going about your everyday routine, you will lose weight and increase your fitness level by over 50 percent in just one month.* It is not uncommon to see results like those of Heidi Lamelson (shown here) soon after purchasing her first set of Diet Stones and then again a mere five months later.

If you are looking for a natural, inorganic way to get back into shape, Diet Stones are for you. They come in attractive earth tone colors, are available in round, flat or square configurations, and in weights ranging from 1 to 45 lbs. Prices start at $7.45 per pound. Contact us for more information.

* Your results may vary.

Fat Chance Underpants

Skivvy Solutions, Inc. of Greenville, S.C. has created the ultimate dieting apparel: Underwear that actually sucks fat from your body!

After nearly a decade of research and development, Skivvy Solutions, Inc. of Greenville, S.C. has created the ultimate dieting apparel: Underwear that actually sucks fat from your body!

The secret is in the special fabric that not only shapes and controls but generates a microenvironment between the garment and the skin that draws fat cells to the skin's surface where those cells are then absorbed by cellular extraction microports in the underwear's fabric.

Fat Chance Underpants are biodegradable and can be disposed of after each wearing or can be reused following overnight "liquidation" in the optional, easy-to-use, Fatstraction Oven.

In controlled, university laboratory tests, Fat Chance Underpants have absorbed up to six pounds of fat in just the first hour of wearing.*

Fat Chance Underpants come in all sizes for both women and men and start at only $43.99 per pair. Contact us for more information.

* Your results may vary.

Avarice Funds: You have all you need, but not all you want.

Flabomizer

Simply recline in the sealed Flabomizer chamber for three minutes as the ultrasonic waves pass harmlessly through your body.

Atomization is a simple and well understood principle that operates at the atomic levels of cellular life and can now be applied to destroy and clear fat cells from your body. In a breakthrough of technology, scientists at Purser-Raymond Medical University have been able to atomize individual human fat cells and wash them from the body.

It works like this: By subjecting fat emboli and plasma lipids to low levels of sonic radiation, there is a release of free esterified cholesterol. This combines with a cell's own oleic and palmitic acids to raise the percentage of phospholipids while at the same time decreasing triglycerides, diacylglycerides and nonesterified linoleic acid to result in the shrinking of the cell, often by up to 65 percent.*

The application of this simple chemical principle has led to the development of the Flabomizer. Simply recline in the sealed Flabomizer chamber for three minutes as the ultrasonic waves pass harmlessly through your body. While you relax, sonic induction breaks down cells of fat into their elemental components of nitrogen, hydrogen, oxygen, kelsiem, potassium, iron and plathanigen. These elements are then flushed safely and efficiently from your body over the next 48 hours as you consume regular amounts of fresh water.

Shown here are commercial Flabomizer models installed at a Traveller Group Hotel property in Paris. The cost for a series of six Flabomizer treatments at the spa is €795. Similar installations offering treatments at similar costs are available at over 160 spas across Europe and the Far East. Shangshria Corporation, the exclusive manufacturer of the Flabomizer and also the maker of the ButtMaster, expects to have a home model available soon.

To locate a spa featuring Flabomizer treatments or to reserve the opportunity to own a home unit at the pre-release price of only €4,399, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

Le Patche

The amazing La Patch is safe and 100% natural.

Looking for a product to help you drop excess weight without a regimented diet or strenuous exercise? Looking for a product to magically melt away ugly fat, flab and cellulite? Looking for a product to increase your energy? Looking for a product to give you the body you've always wanted?

Well your product has arrived: Le Patche, the amazing diet patch from Fat Chance Diets! This is the fastest, most effective, and safest way to lose weight without starvation diets or strenuous exercise!

You don't have to worry about eating. You don’t even have to think about losing weight. Le Patche does all the all the work for you! Just put on the patch and watch inches disappear! In clinical tests, the average monthly weight loss was 26 pounds for women and 49 pounds for men!* The amazing La Patch is safe and 100% natural. It contains no ephedrine, no processed sugars, no lactose and is PABA-free.

The secret to its superior performance is a powerful ingredient called Adhesive, which controls your junk food intake and turns your body into a fat burning machine, burning as much as two to three pounds of fat every hour!* Simply apply Le Patche and you will start losing weight immediately. It even works while you sleep! And your family and friends will see the difference right away!

Le Patche is available over-the-counter in most grocery and department stores. Contact us for more information.

* Your results may vary.

Simply apply Le Patche and you will start losing weight immediately.
Le Patche is available over-the-counter in most grocery and department stores.

Sugar Swarmers

Sugar Swarmers are the Aedes Albopictus breed of mosquito which are captured in the wilds of upper Minnesota then organically bred to be particularly thirsty.

Here's the natural solution to weight loss. Sugar Swarmers are the Aedes Albopictus breed of mosquito which are captured in the wilds of upper Minnesota then organically bred to be particularly thirsty.

Sugar Swarmers come to you packaged in an easy to use home application kit. When they arrive, the mosquitoes are still in the larva stage. By simply heating the package in your home oven at 375º for 4 minutes, the larvae will hatch and you will have tens of thousands of famished mosquitoes that you can apply immediately to any exposed skin surface. (In the photo here, you can see an example of a small number of the insects being deployed on a customer's arm.)

Sugar Swarmers can be applied any time. However, by allowing the mosquitoes to imbibe shortly after you have eaten, sugars that are being transported by your blood and are on there way to being stored as fat will be permanently removed from your system. Sure you may experience a little swelling for a short time.* But think of the envious looks you will receive from your friends and family soon after your recovery.

For more information about purchasing Sugar Swarmers, contact us.

* A mere 86% of customers report limbs doubling in size, and only 93% report being hospitalized for more than three months. Your results may vary.

Thin Spritz

Thin Spritz is a remarkable calorie absorption spray that, when applied to food surfaces, reduces the caloric content of that food without affecting its taste.

Thin Spritz is a remarkable calorie absorption spray that, when applied to food surfaces, reduces the caloric content of that food without affecting its taste. Better yet, because it is applied after a meal has been prepared, there is no added preparation effort. And it works on all food groups: starches, fruits, vegetables, dairy, protein and even junk foods.

Discovered by graffiti vandals who would sometimes “huff” their working materials, Thin Spritz has been reformulated for household kitchen use while maintaining its chemical properties that can add a semigloss finish to any wood, plastic, masonry or metal surface.

Simply apply Thin Spritz following four, easy-to-follow steps and watch the pounds melt away.

  • Hold the can of Thin Spritz approximately six to eight inches above any food item.
  • Direct the ergonomically designed, simple-to-use spray nozzle toward the food, then hold down the nozzle for three to five seconds to apply a gentle mist of Thin Spritz over the food. (NOTE: It is recommended that you wear safety glasses, gloves and an OSHA approved respirator while spraying, and keep children and pets at a safe distance.)
  • Wait six hours for the active ingredients in Thin Spritz to infuse with the food.
  • Enjoy your meal.

When used as directed, Thin Spritz can lead to significant weight loss. Indeed, Thin Spritz customers have reported losing over 25 pounds a week and reducing their waist measurement by close to 35 percent.* 

To receive a free, 14 day trial sample of Thin Spritz, contact us.

* Your results may vary. And if you find you are losing too much weight, reduce the number of meals on which you use Thin Spritz or decrease the duration of the spray. 

Washboard Abs Made Simple

Tired of doing endless sit-ups trying to get that six-pack abs look? Had it with diets that promise to melt away midriff fat? Broke from expensive Triptalopane treatments to the tummy?

Well, excessive sit-ups can overextend your clavatoil fernaile, which we all know can lead to serious problems down the road. Spot dieting to reduce fat around your belly simply doesn't work. And the cost to complete lengthy Triptalopane treatments can be prohibitive. But now, thanks to breakthroughs in medical technology and advances in surgical techniques, you can achieve those washboard abs you've always wanted—without sit-ups, dieting or drugs!

The Washboard Abs Made Simple (WAMS) system involves a simple surgical procedure that you can do yourself, in your own home, in about an hour by following the simple protocol outlined in the WAMS instruction booklet and accompanying video.

Darrin, a computer programmer from Toronto and Diane, a field technician for a equine management company in Albuquerque, were the first lucky customers to complete the in-home, self-surgery procedure. As you can see, the results are phenomenal!*

Don't fool around with low-results exercise, restrictive food choices or expensive drug treatments. If you really want the look of washboard abs, there is simply no substitute for Washboard Abs Made Simple.

For more information about purchasing the Washboard Abs Made Simple, at-home surgical kit, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

If you really want the look of washboard abs, there is simply no substitute for Washboard Abs Made Simple.
Thanks to breakthroughs in medical technology and advances in surgical techniques, you can achieve those washboard abs you've always wanted.

Copyright © 2007-2021 Fat Chance Diets. These contents may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without our express written consent. If you use any of our stuff without asking first, we'll certainly be pissed off, and may just sue your ass for good measure. Fat Chance Diets is not associated with any legitimate weight management program or entity. (That works out just fine because no reputable weight management program or entity would wish to be associated with us.) Proper names used on this website, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental. And in case you haven't figured it out, the diet plans, books, supplements and products presented here are fiction and should not be employed in any way. Their presentation is intended for entertainment only.