Diet Supplements

Kills fat cells and then washes them away
Bugs take a bite out of hunger
Feel as full as you ever have

Kills fat cells and then washes them away

Bugs take a bite
out of hunger

Durian Essence Oil

Awaiting results of clinical trials

Feel as full as
you ever have

A natural appetite suppressant
Sustainable source of lean meat
Nature's most perfect food
Burns fat in minutes

A natural appetite suppressant

Sustainable source
of lean meat

Nature's most
perfect food

AquaTrim

AquaTrim can be drunk either hot or cold and can be added to other foods to give them extra calorie reducing properties.

In 1997, scientists at International University in Stockholm were able to isolate a molecular compound from the epithelial layer of the Nordic moose (Alces alces) that, when combined with simple tap water (H2O), resulted in a tonic that attacks fat cells, rendering them inert. After years of further research, these same scientists have been able to synthesize this ingredient in the laboratory and have made it available, in limited quantities, to select distributors. Now, through a special arrangement with International University, Fat Chance Diets has become the sole North American and European distributor of this revolutionary weight loss formula, and we are now making it available to you, distributed under the brand AquaTrim Super Diet Beverage.

The secret to AquaTrim is in the manufacture of the liquid containers themselves. When ordinary tap water is added, a special patented coating on the inside of the containers mixes with the water, releasing a chemical that essentially kills fat cells and then washes them away.

In laboratory studies, scientists have shown that drinking only 16 ounces of AquaTrim along with one regular meal every day results in an astounding average loss of ten percent of body weight per week for up to two months.*

AquaTrim can be drunk either hot or cold and can be added to other foods to give them extra calorie reducing properties. AquaTrim comes in convenient 1, 2 and 4 ounce containers as well as 55 gallon drums for home and office dispensing. A six pack of one liter bottles retails for $18.95 plus shipping. Contact us for ordering information.

* Your results may vary.

Ceratopolean Infusion

Commonly known as no-see-ums or biting midges, ceratopogonidae flies have been the scourge of outdoor recreationalists ever since Thomas Hiram Holding pitched his tent in 1897. Now weight-loss scientists has found a way to use an extract drawn from the livers of ceratopogonidae flies to arrest the sensation of hunger in overweight individuals. 

Once-a-day injections of only 0.5 ml has shown to reduce or eliminate altogether any of sensation of hunger.* In some cases, customers have found it necessary to set alarm clocks to remind themselves to eat.

Due to seasonal variations and the fact that It requires the sacrifice of over 785,000 ceratopogonidae flies to produce and refine a ml of Ceratopolean, potential customers are being placed on a waiting list and required to submit a financial statement indicating ability to pay the market price for a one month Ceratopolean Infusion starter kit. Contact us if you wish to be considered a customer.

* Your results may vary.

Weight-loss scientists has found a way to use an extract drawn from the livers of ceratopogonidae flies to arrest the sensation of hunger in overweight individuals.

Free-Range Pebbles

Free-Range Pebbles are available in a variety of flavors including granite, sandstone, basalt and shale.

Tired of "lite" meals and dietary supplements that just don't leave you with a feeling of fullness? That's where Free-Range Pebbles comes in. Their all natural ingredients not only fill you up, but they contain many minerals essential to health and well being. You will feel as full as you ever have.*

Many, if not most dietary supplements on the market today are derived from natural ingredients. Free-Range Pebbles go beyond being "derived" from natural ingredients. These are natural ingredients. Best of all, their potency never diminishes. When the manufacturer's directions are followed, Free-Range Pebbles have an unlimited shelf life.

Free-Range Pebbles are available in a variety of flavors including granite, sandstone, basalt and shale. Prices start at $7.95 for a 24 pebble starter package. Also, bulk purchases can be accommodated. Contact one of our offices for pricing and shipping information. Free-Range Pebbles are not available over the counter so be sure to place your order while supplies last.

* Your results may vary.

Connecting wringled singles

Hoodai Gordoni

Hoodai Gordoni works by blocking signals of hunger sent to the brain.

Hoodai Gordoni is a natural appetite suppressant derived from the hourglass shaped flowers of the Ransanelius Diantanian species of plants indigenous to the southwestern deserts of the United States.

Its earliest recorded use was by Navajo Indians, who used it to make a concoction that was effective in treating rattlesnake bites. In 1952, Prof. Hoodai Gordoni of Southern New Mexico University, first synthesized the enzyme that is responsible for its amazing weight loss effects. Ever since, that extract has carried his name.

Hoodai Gordoni works by blocking signals of hunger sent to the brain. It has been tested in dozens of clinical trials where results have shown an average weight loss of 38 pounds.*

Hoodai Gordoni is available without a prescription and comes in gel tablets for easy swallowing or will dissolve in your favorite beverage.

For more information about purchasing a month's supply of Hoodai Gordoni, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

NutriaSystems

NutriaSystems is a complete meal delivery program that provides its customers with a balanced diet in prepackaged, easy to prepare meals.

Are you interested in helping the environment while maintaining your weight? NutriaSystems products may be just what you have been looking for. Introduced by Cajun Coypu Company in Port Arthur, Texas, NutriaSystems is a complete meal delivery program that provides its customers with a balanced diet in prepackaged, easy to prepare meals.

According to information on the company’s website, free-range nutria that are captured exclusively in Texas, Arkansas and Louisiana are used in all the company’s food products and most of its automotive lubricants and janitorial supplies. (Shown here is a nutria filet casserole prepared with spring vegetables.)

“The biology of the nutria species,” says Hershel Pinsweep, spokesman for NutriaSystems, “allows it to reproduce rapidly, making it a sustainable source of lean meat that is high in protein and low in cholesterol.”

Pinsweep sites recent studies completed at the University of Louisiana at Shreveport that have shown that a diet that includes nutria meat eaten at least three times a week can lead to increases in HDL (high-density lipoprotein), decreases in LDL (low-density lipoprotein) and significant loss of weight.* 

In addressing consumer hesitancy to dine on large, swamp-living rodents, Pinsweep said, “People in South America have been eating guinea pigs for centuries, and they’re a whole lot cuter — the guinea pigs — than nutria.”

For a list of grocers where you can buy NutriaSystems meals, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

Oui Bee Pollen

Bee pollen, known to stimulate metabolism, will dissolve fat and flush it from your body.

Bee pollen may be nature's most perfect food. It has been used for centuries to stimulate organs and glands, increase energy levels, aid in the recovery from chronic illnesses, reduce cravings and addictions, prevent infectious diseases, improve endurance,* enhance vitality, boost sexual performance, and prevent cancer — to list just a few of its powers. Now Fat Chance Diets brings the power of bee pollen to your weight loss regimen.

Bee pollen, known to stimulate metabolism, will dissolve fat and flush it from your body. It's like turbocharging your metabolic fires. With no change to your diet or exercise routine, you can expect to see a five to ten percent drop in your weight after just the first application.**

Because pollen loses its potency when extracted and subsequently processed, Oui Bee Pollen is not sold in ointment, pill, or food supplement form. Instead, Fat Chance Diets delivers to your door hundreds of live bees that you can apply immediately to your body.

That's right! Oui Bee Pollen comes to you directly from domesticated bees that are raised near Paris and shipped to you by FedEx for next-day delivery. Through this direct application method, pollen is deposited onto the epithelial layer of your skin for direct absorption at full strength. (Detailed instructions for application are included with every order.)

For more information about purchasing Oui Bee Pollen, contact us.

* Not recommended for athletes competing in official Olympic events.

** Your results may vary.

OxyLoss 

OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules safely infuse oxygen into your digestive tract to increase the burn rate of stored fat.

Much of the excess fat stored on your body can be burned away if only the supply of oxygen were sufficient to maintain a high level of combustion. OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules do just that. These dietary supplements safely infuse oxygen into your digestive tract to increase the burn rate of stored fat.

Acting much like a turbocharger does in a race car, OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules add a burst of oxygen into your system to literally burn fat away.

In studies carried out by Professor Hieldsgold at Hampton Surgeons' College in Cape Town, dieters who supplemented their diets with OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules showed weight loss at a rate up to three times faster than did dieters who merely stuck to a sensible diet and exercise.*

Moreover, weight loss by those on the Super-Oxygen Diet has been shown to be accelerated with the addition of OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules.

For more information about purchasing OxyLoss Super-Oxygenated Air Capsules, contact us.

* Your results may vary.

Copyright © 2007-2021 Fat Chance Diets. These contents may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without our express written consent. If you use any of our stuff without asking first, we'll certainly be pissed off, and may just sue your ass for good measure. Fat Chance Diets is not associated with any legitimate weight management program or entity. (That works out just fine because no reputable weight management program or entity would wish to be associated with us.) Proper names used on this website, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental. And in case you haven't figured it out, the diet plans, books, supplements and products presented here are fiction and should not be employed in any way. Their presentation is intended for entertainment only.